05 September 2012

Love Lesson

We all have done some crazy things for love....
We've put ourselves in dumb situations to gain attraction and we've said some of the corniest things to impress the opposite sex - not one single person is immune of this. I remember the first night I met her and tried to do exactly that, funny thing was, life has a thing for having its own way with you.

Last night, I had insightful di...
alogue with a particular female, but she isn't just any female, she's the one I call 32. Just to clarify, no 32 isn't her number of the women I've been involved with, 32 is the number of many things, but mainly the number of firsts.

You see, in life a man has different variations of what we call "first." We have the first hug, the first date, the first we have sex with, the first kiss, the first dance, the first that gets meet the boys, etc etc. Well, 32 was many of mine, she was the many of my first - The first I fell in love with, the first to meet my mother, my father, the first I fought for, fought over, the first I never wanted to lose, the first to break my heart, the first to change my context on women, the first I cried for, the first I died for, survived for; 32 was many of mine,she was the many of my firsts, ironic thing is, we never even had sex.... So listen.

Now, I've never talked of 32 in this manner, our conversations are very sporadic as for years we've suppressed and avoided a conversation which is inevitable, but when our conversations do occur, it reminds me why I never wanted to hang up the phone before her New York flight on the first night. It's majestic how one moment can completely change your life but, If that one conversation we never had never occurs, it doesn't even matter anymore because in my heart and energy, she already knows - she already knows her conversations tend to leave the remarkable moment that makes life seem.... Timeless and myself, immortal....

Quite an introduction huh? Well, below you'll read the results of a 32 induced muse, but, I call this, "The Science of Relationships"

I know women. My experiences throughout life have taught me a hell of a lot which is why I am where I am now - everything I've done has created this, created, well, me.


Ladies, I know you've heard men say, "She's immature, she's crazy or she's always bitching," I also know you've probably used this phrase over coffee or phone with your girlfriend(s) - "He doesn't know how to express feeling" or "he does the stupidest things that piss me off" - yet at the end of the day, youre still together - I'm going to show you something....

Even though what I'm about to tell you reveals in both genders, I'm really going to focus on the ladies to understand a males thinking/perspective on life, and relationships, in this case, the science of one.

Lesson 1. Excitement/stimulation

Ladies, a man likes a woman he don't know what to expect with, simply because it's exciting, it's intriguing, it raises our testosterone levels. We like knowing or thinking "yeah she's gonna do this if I do that" but she doesn't, she snaps (hopefully not completely) but she does it enough to let him know his place, but then it's back to normal - this is why men do dumb shit. We men, are just like children when it comes to relationships. - no joke - For those that have/had young children, youre going to know what I am about to get into.

A child between 1-7 is gonna feel you out. They are going to do dumb things to learn, experience the result and they are also going to task smart calculated actions just to see how you react/respond. Children are going to feel you out to your edge to see if you'll keep allowing it, enable it or "shut it down" with discipline - just like men

Men are going to do dumb things in a relationship to learn, experience the result and they are also going to do smart calculated actions - we already know if it's wrong or right - but we want to feel you out, test waters, and see if you have enough confidence to shut it down.

Those reasons above are the exact same reason why women/men stay with cheating partners at times... They are tested, they reacted with emotion but no discipline therefore, nothing will change....

As grown as we think we are, life is cycles, and as tough as we all act we want the same needs as a child - Excitement/stimulation, discipline, support and real love - if we don't have those few core values - then that's where bad relationships turn up

So there's a short brief of lesson one.... Let's move on.

Lesson 2. Discipline

A woman is just as intellectual as any man, and should never think less than equal of one. In fact, majority of the time, a woman is probably one or two steps ahead of a man, why? The answer is simple, her intuition. 9 times out of 10 a woman will know an answer before it is even asked, and if she doesn't or isn't sure, just as a child she'll ask him a question to test him - the way he responds will tell her everything she needs to know of him, his integrity, his pride, and his respect for you, and his relationship - his answer reveals his discipline

Ladies, no matter what a man thinks or how tough a man is, you run the relationship (chuckles, breaking so many codes) a man may think he's in charge but at the end of the day, it's you who we come running to to help us pick out which color tie, decide on where to eat out, or just point us in the right direction- you literally are our compasses.

So 32 goes on to ask, "how do you discipline a grown man?" Again, the answer is simple, a man who has his own woman yet no cookie will always learn (old flowverb). If he goes else where for the cookie, you'd have your answer on your relationship stance - but - if he waits, deals with the discipline of his action(s), the sex will be even better, the relationship will be better more tantric.

Still not convinced? Just take a look at lions, beautiful animal - a male lion protects his lioness, his integrity, and his pride yet the lioness decides whether if he eats - think about it

The cookie will always rule the man, we come from it and we should respect it.

Lesson 3/4. Love us enough to Support us

Support renders as many different things, but mine stands for three - thought, communication, understanding - we all see it, we all want to feel "at home" somewhere or with someone. Unfortunately ladies, not all men are as outward expressive as you are - For example, I am through writing. There are men who use different venues to shows these things, or simply don't know how to yet - we want you to teach us - even if it is needed through heartbreak

People communicate different ways in life, everywhere you look something or someone is trying to tell us something, the question is, are you ready to understand it?

This part is somewhat for my male readers, but ladies I want you to understand your part as well....

Just as men, women test men to see how he'll respond. There are some women that do not just "trip or bitch" without an ulterior motive - as Bereola would say, " that argument about the dishes, is not even about the dishes " and it's not. Majority of men don't know how to express or profess his love to a woman, so women instigate it, women will provoke a man to more open expression - gents, they want the reaction, they want to see you care even if its through, anger, envy or sadly hate. Understand that, love is real subtle, humble, it's not going to be slapped in front of your face like a life alert billboard, no, compassion is about secluded intimate connection - this is why they provoke you and want you to "act out," they want you to show you care

Take time understand people, to understand life around you. There are people all around crying for the third lesson, this is why we have bullies, wannabe thugs, basic drama queens, and basic people fighting - wrongful outward expression wanting intimate connection

Life is that simple, we are all grown babies wanting 4 values - excitement/stimulation, discipline, support, and real love - that is the basis of a relationship in my opinion...

Before the ladies start shooting off about, "well I want a strong independent man and vice versa" -that's cool, we can be that, but we cannot be that without you...

A man or woman beside you should only enhance your greatness - people always think it is about their standards and someone needs to "reach them" or "match them" - no - I'm different from you, I may never be on your level but I can learn from it if you teach me and you can learn from mine if you're submissive to learn all in hoping we can meet eye to eye in the end

Anyway, Life is very simple, just observe people. I know this has been a lot, and I hope some understanding has come in between the genders.

Until next time,
(Flow was featured in PBK's November 2010 interview. Click here to read the interview.)

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