23 February 2012

You Might Want to Start With "Hello"

Dear Guys Who Lack the Oratory Skills to Spark up a Conversation,

Catcalls and pet names do not help your cause.
Photo credit: http://www.salon.com/2010/10/29/street_harassment/

Seriously, bro. Don’t look at me walk down the street and fix your mouth to release a sound something like a hissing rattlesnake. Or a cat in heat. Or any other animalistic sounds. If it isn’t “hello,” don’t even think about saying anything unless you see my safety in some sort of danger and are having a hard time articulating a “Watch out!” As much as the twist in my hips makes you dumfounded, I don’t need to know it. Unfortunately, I am heir to a walk that forces people to notice. If I could change it, I would. Since I cannot, don’t announce how horny it makes you. You sound ignorant and barbaric.

Also, do not call me pet names while trying to get my attention. I’m not your “baby,” “mamacita,” “shawty,” “redbone,” or any other pet name you try to designate to your conquests. My name is Phoenix. Of course, you would only know that if you asked (or read my blog). If you’re too busy making the aforementioned catcalls, you won’t even make it to the step of getting my name. Hell, you probably won’t even get a glance in your direction from me if you attempt your mating calls on me.

And for you “I’m just asking if we can be friends” type of guys, what type of guy really looks at a woman, beautiful or not, and thinks, “Damn, she looks like she’s a great friend”? Unless she has a label stamped on her forehead saying that she’s an excellent friend, don’t try that innocent act. Lol. *squints and points* I see you. Lol.

Anyway, back to my original point… I don’t expect anyone to have a presidential speech prepared when trying to talk to me, but grunting and beating on your chest trying to prove that you have testicles is surely not the way to go. All it takes is one word—hello. Is that too much to ask? Simplicity goes quite far if used correctly. Next time you see a beautiful girl you want to approach, think before you decide upon that Billy goat screech. Unless you are a wild banshee in danger, use your words.

Sincerely Not Yours,

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