Chivalry's Murderer is....

I have been hearing this phrase, “Independent women killed chivalry,” so many times. At first, I thought it was just the idea of a single bitter male. After much thought, I have mixed feelings about this statement. While it can be seen as the new attitude of boys who needed an excuse to be assholes to women, this statement also characterizes the views of some women who have taken the “I don't need a man” attitude too far.

“Chivalry is dead.” No, it is not. Boys, some of you have chosen not to be chivalrous. No matter how independent a woman claims to be, she still likes to be wined and dined. If she says otherwise, she's either lying or just doesn't want YOU to wine and dine her. On the other hand, you may be doing TOO much where she feels like you expect something in return that she may or may not want to give up (i.e. the goodies, her self-reliance, commitment...). While we women are not asking to be fed hand-dipped chocolate-covered strawberries in a steamy bathtub, we just expect the basics plus a little more. Take her to dinner. Hold the door open for her. Hold her hand. Take care of the check. Those are the basics. If a woman is so independent that she cannot appreciate the smallest gentlemanly gestures, then she wants to BE a man, and you can take your generosity to someone who will appreciate it. But don't let one woman turn you into an asshole.

Chill, bro.

Ladies, as for some of you, you are taking this whole “I don't need a man” thing too far. You're allowed to vote. You can own property. You can be CEOs and the managers of companies. We get it: you can pave your own way and pay for your own shit. Yay you! Blah, blah, blah. When a good man comes by and wants to take you to eat, put that damn wall down. Sometimes, he doesn't want your va-jay-jay. He just wants to feed you. You aren't too good to be fed, right? Let him be the respectful gentleman his parents taught him to be. If you're too independent for that, you are really dumb, for real (in my Antoine Dodson voice). And stop complaining that there aren't many good men out there who can handle a “strong independent woman.” There are plenty; you just decided to take his testicles and played tether ball with them.

I'm not taking anyone's side in this matter, but I don't believe that chivalry is necessarily “dead.” However, I do understand why some men believe that chivalry has been killed off by power-hungry females. But I also have seen some women scare off men with their big ass boulder-sized egos. Both sexes need to seriously relax. Chivalry is still alive and kicking. It's just hiding under someone's ego.

xoxo,
Phoenix