No one knows this:
In my mind, I've spit on you 3,960 times
Once for each day I've hated you
I've whispered “fuck you” 3,960 times
Every goddamned time I contemplated suicide
With you, there weren't enough sun shines for a rainbow to arise.
For years, I tried scrubbing away
Permanent guilt and shame
In the quiets of darkness
Wiping away acidic tears
In fear of embarrassment
The abuse continued
Humiliation and inadequacy ate away emotions
Like maggots on a rotten carcass.
Alas, opportunity was presented for successful escape
Years crept by as paranoia lessened
Still, surrounded by walls,
Visions of your glares haunt my dreams
Emotional void settled
Tears are for the weak.
The remnants of my feelings scattered
The day it all ended
Stoically traveling through this journey
Drained of all happiness, joy and smiles
My punishment still persists long after...
The dementor's kiss found a way to linger.