As you get older, you get wiser. You gain more knowledge, experience and communication skills. One of the best things I have learned is knowing when to shut the hell up, especially when I'm dying inside to say some real slick shit. That may sound funny coming from a writer who runs a blog about speaking her mind, but it's so true.
The saying goes, “Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.” I was having a conversation with my s/o about censoring myself on social networks, and we both agreed that sometimes, you say more when you're quiet. Being quiet is beneficial for three reasons:
- People cannot judge you based on what you're saying.
- You can fully listen to others' bullshit (or truth) and learn from it.
- You're saving your energy for more important things.
In Robert Greene's “The 48 Laws of Power,” law #4 is “Always say less than necessary.” As much as I want to tweet about one of the ridiculous things that my cat does at any given moment, I don't. Why? It's not necessary whatsoever. Who cares about Teddy chasing a sock around the apartment for 3 hours? No one, but me. Lol. Regarding more serious matters, sometimes it's best to be a spectator before becoming the main attraction. Sit back and let others play the fool for a second. Watch and learn what not to do.
Know when to be quiet. Even when someone does you wrong, don't be so quick to bad mouth them. It shows your character more than it does theirs. Plus, my grandmother always told me, “Don't burn bridges. You never know when you'll have to cross them.” The old Phoenix would drag your name through every swamp in the country and cursed you out for saying something about it. However, I'm growing and learning. Lately though, I am trying to become a more positive person and eliminate all of the negativity and grudges in my life. People that have done me wrong from YEARS and months ago have gotten apologies and forgiven. And to be honest, I feel so much better. When you hold grudges, you hold up your blessings (so I've been told).
Although I still have a “fuck your feelings” attitude, I've also learned to choose my battles. I could care less about how you feel about what I say because I said it for a reason, but I also know when I should just stay silent on a specific topic. Fools talk, but a wise woman lets her actions speak for her.
Luv, Peace & Phoenix ♥