01 July 2011

My Uterus is Not a Part of Your Club

Everyone has kids. When I say "everyone," I mean, of all of the people I have known from 5th grade up to college, about 85% have kids. Great. While I enjoy catching up with them on social networks, I hate the line of questioning after pleasantries have been exchanged. "Are you still with your boyfriend?" "Yeah." "*gasp* Wow. How long has it been?" "5 years." "Oh my gosh. That's such a long time. Do you have kids?" "No." "*awkward pause* That's cool. I have two." " *awkward pause* Oh. Ok." It's generally kind of awkward after that, as if we have nothing in common because I don't have kids. When I had a Facebook, it was like once another girl announced she was pregnant, all of the other mothers rejoiced because she was joining the “Mommy Club.” If you only get excited when another one of your friends gets pregnant, then you need a new hobby.

Here's the thing. I'm not against unmarried people with children, I'm against those who expect a person to have children because everyone else does. I'm in no rush to push a 5 lb. baby out of my vagina or complain about my baby daddy being a dick. No, Ma'am. I'm not selfless enough and as financially stable as I would like to be to bring a child into the world. On top of not being married.

Not even trying to be on some holier-than-thou type of shit... But I don't wanna be anyone's baby mama, and I don't wanna have a baby daddy. And, quite frankly, it's a shame that my generation has an acronym for baby mama (BM) and baby daddy (BD). Last time I checked, BM meant "bowel movement." Lol. I've noticed how on social networks, people really go in on their deadbeat baby daddies/mamas/sperm donors. I think to myself, "Why didn't you get to know him/her first before having raw, unprotected sex with them, dummy?" When people consider a marriage a “huge commitment,” I laugh. You'll create a kid with him, but won't marry the man? A marriage can be annulled and dissolved. A child? Not so much. Regardless of how long y'all were together, a child is a forever commitment.

I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years. It's a long time, but when you think about it, we've only been together the length of time it takes to finish high school and freshman year of college. At least, being with him this long has allowed me to see if we share the same lifelong goals and beliefs before we start creating spawns. And why the hell would I want to bring a child into this world with the economy and education system as fucked up as it is now?? I'll pass. I'd prefer my child not to know what "planking," "cat daddy-ing," "budget crisis," and "teacher cutbacks" are, thank you.

So all those weird looks and questions referring to the lack of children exiting my womb can now cease. Being 21 and childless is a “deformity” that I'm pretty content with.


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