21 April 2011

Jealousy is an Ugly Outfit

Jealousy is NEVER a becoming trait. My mother always taught me that. For this reason, I have never been a jealous person. I may feel a twinge of jealousy if someone got a new phone that I want, but I'm not going to be bitter about it. If I want something that someone else has (besides a man), I'm just going to work hard to get it for myself. I'm never going to pine over it like it's something so unattainable that I'll never get it. I've always known that I was going to be successful. Successful doesn't equate rich. Success, to me, is having everything I need and want without having to sell myself out.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand: jealousy. Jealous people are always the first to say that they're just speaking it how they see it. Of course you are. If you were looking out of dark sunglasses, all you're going to see is dark objects. The same goes for jealousy. Speaking on how you see it will always come out of jealousy. Why? Because you're jealous, dummy.

We all have that one person that we know that has envy so deep-rooted that they cannot even think normally. I have an acquaintance that is such a jealous person that she doesn't even know that she's doing it. While watching tv one day, she commented negatively on every single female that popped up on the screen. “She's not even cute.” Umm, you aren't quite the greatest thing since sliced bread yourself, missy. If you can't say anything nice, don't say shit at all unless you have big things poppin'. You're struggling with your baby daddy in a rinky-dink apartment so um, hun, take a few thousand seats. To top it all off, her comments are nothing new. She does this every time we watch tv. She couldn't be a close friend of mine. I'd end up saying “Bish, you're nothing special to look at yourself” and kicking her low self-esteem, ugly, depressed ass outta my house. I don't hang around insecure women.

How to tell if you have a jealous friend:
  • Putting others down just to get their rocks off:
    • Their biggest turn-on is making themselves feel better by tearing down others. If you guys are walking through the mall and he/she is putting people down from their hair to their shoes as if it is a sport, there is a problem.  
  • Unhappiness when you have good news:
    • If you get an “A” in a class, they aren't as excited as you are. In fact, they're acting like you didn't even say anything. They may even get mad at your news, but try to play it off like they're mad at something else. They just diverted the attention from you to them by saying that something else made them mad, and like a good friend, you asked what happened. Congratulations, your good news is now history.
  • Counteracting positive with negativity:
    • You get a new pair of shoes. With their giant dual binocular-microscope pupils, they've noticed that the color on one shoe is 0.0000005 shades darker than the other. Now, your shoes aren't that special anymore since they're damaged goods.
  • Constant discouragement:
    • You have found an amazing house that is within your price range. You tell your friend that you're thinking of buying it, but it is 10 square feet smaller than your current house. However, you don't need all of that extra space anyway. As you're definitely considering purchasing it, your friend is trying to talk you out of it because of that tiny flaw. The little 10 square feet that you're missing is a mile in their head. Why? Because you love it and they don't want you to get what you want. Why? Because they don't.
  • Always busy when you're doing better:
    • You buy the house anyway and fix it up exactly how you want it. You invite them over and, after seeing it, they are missing in action for months. You call them to go to Taco Tuesday and Happy Hour, they're busy. Your birthday? A measly text message instead of the usual surprise dinner. Yep, you have a jealous friend on your hands.

Friends are never supposed to make you feel bad for having the things that make you happy unless it is detrimental to your health or safety. Even then, there is a boundary they must not cross.

Jealousy is one of the many things from which I try to stay away in friendships. If you find yourself with someone who fits any one of these traits, watch them closer. If they exhibit more than one, distance yourself. Having jealous friends can rub off of you and, in turn, make you a jealous person, or ruin your friendship. Save yourself the drama and end it immediately.


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