30 November 2010

Back Off My Scale!

Both of my grandmothers are smaller than a size 5. My paternal grandmother is a size 0 and my grandmother on my mother's side is size 3. My mother and aunt are both a size 9. I just got into a size 5/7, depending on the brand. I can still fit a few of my old size 3's, but I am a comfortable size 5/7. Last Summer, while I was a size 3/5, my paternal grandmother called me fat. I was offended. I have a pretty flat stomach (it could be a little flatter), but a lot of my weight sits in my thighs and butt. I am what some call "thick." Fat in all of the "right" areas. When I got an attitude, she tried consoling me, telling me that she wishes she had my butt and thighs. Yet, she exercises like she is trying to disappear. After a while, I just left it alone. I knew that I wasn't fat so she could just shove it!

On Sunday night, I went to my maternal grandmother's home to pick up some laundry that I had left over there. When I asked her if she liked my new jeans, she said, "I've been refraining from saying this, but..." She turns off the kitchen faucet for emphasis. "You need to lose some weight." Caught off guard, I just responded, "No, I don't." "Yes, you do. You're getting fat." I simply played it off, but I was genuinely hurt. Then, she continued. "Can you please get back to your original size?" I asked, "Which is...?" She just says, "I don't know, but you weren't fat before." I responded, "And I'm not fat now." She said more, but, at this point, I just tuned her out. I did hear her when she practically gave me a fucking time limit when to "get slim again." She calculated that Thanksgiving had just passed and Christmas was coming up, but she expects me to be "skinny" by next spring, as she said.

What is up with the fucking preoccupation with body image? I'm not saying that people should allow themselves to get unhealthily obese, but they should be able to go out in public in their comfortable size without worrying if people are going to be judging them on their body mass index. You may think back to my previous post, Should Voluntary Obesity Be Penalized?, I said that parents should be charged with child abuse if they allow their child to be obese. I stick to my word because parents are responsible for their child's health. However, responsible adults should be able to eat what they would like as long as they are healthy and happy. I love food. Food makes me happy, but I know that I gained a bit of weight over the years. Birth control and over-eating are the main contributors. While I am trying to lose the weight, I still do not wish for my weight to be observed like a fucking television show.

I do not wish to look like a model, nor do I wish to be obese, but I refuse to lose weight because of someone else's preference. My grandmother is a nice size for her. I want to lose weight for myself, but I am not going to go out of my way to meet her deadline. I have accepted my curves, and though I wish my stomach was a tad bit flatter, but I refuse to be "skinny" or "thin" simply because that's what America says women should be.

There are commercials plastered all over the television and internet about gastric bypass, gym membership specials, diet pills and all other kinds of bullshit. Why? So we all can be thin and look alike? I'd rather be a healthy version of myself than a Stepford American.

Hips and ass are healthy, too.


1 comment:

  1. Hmmm…It’s interesting that your grandmother said that because a 5/7 is not thick at all (unless you’re 4’10”). Maybe she wishes she were a bit bigger, so she’s taking it out on you. The average 13 year old wears a size 5. It’s not a big deal. She’ll get over it.