10 April 2010

I Do, I Don't

As a child, one is always led to believe that they would go to school, get a career, fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after. This train of thought is ideal until probably high school. Then one realizes that many different obstacles can arise in the middle of this dream—heartbreak, difficulty finding a long-lasting significant other, unwanted pregnancy, or other distractions. Nowadays there are many different routes that people can go down—not getting married at all, getting married early and divorcing, getting pregnant and married later, or actually getting married and staying happily married for the rest of their lives. While not getting married is one of the major problems, it’s the people who are married that I am worried about. Our parents, whether they are married or not, are a big influence on how we think of marriage. Another influence on how we think of marriage is Hollywood. Although all of us are not very familiar with who’s dating, pregnant by, or married to who, we are aware of the chances of marriage indissolubility in Tinsel Town. With all of its calamity and flexibility, it makes me wonder about how the sanctity of marriage has changed.

This question was originally a passing thought as I watched as each woman appeared from every direction in the Tiger Woods scandal claiming that she had scored a hole in one with the very married golfer on multiple occasions. As I watched the drama unfold, I wondered how his wife, Elin must feel waiting for the line of women to end their media broadcast of Tiger’s infidelity with them. How is a wife supposed to feel knowing that the person with whom she exchanged vows was having sex with other women? On top of that, with the media announcing each new discovery like an archaeological finding, she was not able to escape the situation without microphones and cameras invading her space. Although it is unsure of the outcome of the entire fiasco, it is believed that Elin stayed with Tiger despite the number of women with whom Tiger had cheated still slowly increasing.

In light of the Tiger Woods scandal becoming a thing of the past, another celebrity marriage has come to a crashing halt. Right after winning an Oscar for Best Female Actress, Sandra Bullock was informed of her husband, Jesse James’s infidelity with porn star, Michelle McGee. So far, she is the only known woman who has come forward. While no one knows the reasoning behind his infidelity, it has happened and I’m sure that it is very embarrassing for Sandra Bullock to have to go through.

Both Tiger Woods and Jesse James have tried to show remorse for their actions by checking themselves into sexual rehabilitation. Personally, I find two things wrong with this. The first problem I found was that they decided to show remorse after the fact that they got caught. Had it not been for these women stepping forward, Tiger and Jesse would not have let their secrets out. Their “remorse” does not seem genuine if they were forced to do so. The second problem that I have is that sex rehab is not a “cure” for their infidelity. Tiger Woods and Jesse James did not get condemned for enjoying sex, they were criticized for infidelity. If there was such thing as rehab for lying and infidelity, then I would understand. However, for them to check themselves into sex rehab, it makes no sense.

How does sex rehab work? Is one made to believe that sex is wrong or disgusting? I

Although it has not been publicized as much, many athletes also cheat on their wives. Recently, it has been Tiki Barber, who cheated on and left his pregnant wife for an intern at NBC. This brings me back to the question of how sacred marriage is nowadays. In actual life, there are many marriages that are successful. However, they get overshadowed by Hollywood marriages that are easily disrupted by scandal, lies, deceit, and paparazzi.
There is no advice I could give to anyone who wishes to get married, except not to view Hollywood marriages as a template for marriage.

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