09 April 2009

I'm Back!

Long time no update.
Probably won't be much updating until after May 7th. It's the final weeks of school.. Just thinking of finals are stressing me out. But of course, more stress has been added as of today. My grandfather is battling with cancer. At first, it looked bad, but the doctors put him on these chemo pills that made him improve sooooo much. It was looking very positive. Now, his health has taken a turn for the worse, and at a very quick pace. My grandmother said that she may have to start making funeral arrangements.

Okay, I am almost 19 years old. I know that people don't last forever. But, I mean, he's my grandfather! He has watched me grow from a fetus to a young woman. After being in my life for longer than I can remember, permanency has already been established far as I am concerned. I am so afraid of even going to my grandmother's house. I am on the verge of a breakdown. Why can't I close my eyes and simply say "no"? Why can I not simply avoid this? Can I just look at the situation and refuse it entrance into my life?
Can I post a "NO TRESPASSERS ALLOWED" sign?

...tbc.

Words && Sounds,
Sincerely

Phoenix Nicole

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